This week on Wisteria Lane, Tom gets high, Susan runs around in her underwear, and Carlos gets really really pissed.
If you recall last week Tom was diagnosed with the male form of post-partum depression and Lynette was less than supportive. She’s too busy raising five children (only three of whom are ever seen at any one time) to concern herself much with his moods so his depression deepens. She tries modeling sexy underwear for him but nothing seems to work. Lynette is not a fan of narcotics to treat depression so she sends Tom to a holistic doctor who gives him medical marijuana instead. Lynette is not on board with having Tom high all the time either, but she had agreed to go along with whatever the witch doctor recommended. But, being Lynette, she can’t stand to not be in control so she replaces the pot with oregano. Tom somehow manages to get high on it anyway, helped along by Lynette who responds to his questions with random nonsense to further convince him that the “pot” is working. We all know this will bite her in the ass before the hour is over.
While Tom is getting baked on pizza toppings Lynette, Susan and Bree pay a visit to Creepy Paul’s new wife Beth to welcome her to the neighborhood and invite her to their weekly poker game. Beth is charmed but Paul knows the girls are just being nosey and he tells her to give them lots of useless information and become friends with them. His creepy revenge plot hinges on Beth gaining the confidence of the other desperate housewives. At the game, the girls get Beth drunk on white zinfandel and she reveals a bit too much about her life with Paul. The girls are eager to share with Beth that while Paul was exonerated for the murder of Felicia Tillman he is still the number one suspect in the murder of her sister Martha Huber. Beth starts to second guess the decisions she has made in her love life.
I have to wonder why the writers brought Paul Young back this season. I think his story was told and would have enjoyed some new blood in the neighborhood. I also miss Katherine Mayfair (Dana Delany). She was a nut but I had really warmed up to her over the years. Those early episodes that pitted her against Bree were classic!
Speaking of Bree, she is still hot for her handyman Keith and making a bit of a spectacle of herself. Granted, Keith is flirting back shamelessly so the odds of these two hooking up are pretty high. Renee (Vanessa Williams) tries to get Bree to go on a stud hunt with her but Bree is focused on the stud in her living room instead. She is about to invite him over to the cougar den for her famous baked ziti when his perky blonde girlfriend shows up. Defeated, she takes Renee up on her offer and after Renee makes fun of how many sweater sets she owns they hit the town. Guess who turns up at the bar? Keith. Turns out his perky girlfriend broke up with him that afternoon and he’s out drowning his sorrows. Renee spots him and goes in the for the kill before Bree can get off her high horse long enough to stop her. While Renee flirts Bree goes in to the bathroom and puts her dress on backwards so her rockin bosoms are displayed prominently. Her efforts are too little too late though and Keith goes home with Renee whose rockin bosoms have been on display all along. And really, who could compete with Vanessa Williams? She was Miss America for like a whole week until those naughty pictures came out. Not to be outdone, Bree takes a golf club to her sprinklers and calls Keith to come fix them in the middle of the night, essentially tearing him from Renee’s bed. Renee vows to take Bree down sealing her as the new Edie on the block. I miss Edie too. Maybe her ghost can come haunt Susan or something.
Gabriel and Carlos meet with the hospital administrators and sign a document that essentially promises they will not sue the hospital for switching her baby with another child at birth. She changes her mind though and calls on Gay Bob the lawyer to track down the parents of her biological child without telling Carlos. Obviously Gabriel doesn’t watch the show because you would think she’d have learned by now that keeping secrets from Carlos is not wise. Beard or no beard he has a temper. Gay Bob finds the family almost immediately and Gabby tells him to let them know what happened. Carlos finds out and gets super pissed. He tells Gabby that if this ends badly and the other family takes Juanita from them, he will leave her. I’d be willing to bet that this is how their storyline will play out this year and next May we’ll see Carlos loading his luggage into a cab with Gabby all teary eyed and alone on the porch. Hell, knowing the writers of this show I wouldn’t be surprised if the cab exploded when he got inside.
What would a week on Wisteria Lane be without Susan running around in her underwear again? I am so bored with nearly naked Teri Hatcher that I won’t bother telling you what happened to her this week. Suffice to say that she had a soft core porn style cat fight with another girl from VaVaVaBroom.com, realized how sad and pathetic her new job is and doubled her efforts to get her and Mike moved back to Wisteria Lane. I am actually surprised she didn’t attend the poker game in her underwear. And poor MIke is getting no screen time this year.
Tom eventually found out about Lynette’s stunt with the oregano and they had sort of a fight about it. She helped him realize that he didn’t really need it though and by the time Mary Alice’s ghost showed up to narrate us out of the episode he was content watching three of his five kids play in the yard. Where are the twins this year?
Next week, a billboard is put up in downtown Fairview featuring Susan in her underwear and Renee is harassed by a midget while on a date with Keith. No I’m not kidding. I fear I’ll have to have a drink before I can sit through this one.
(pic courtesy of TVGUIDE.com)