Another week has passed in the lives of the glamorous and conniving women of Wisteria Lane and Susan spent most of it in her underwear again. She is really trying my patience, but before I get on that particular soapbox I want to bring your attention to something more interesting. Hot men.
On Saturday I watched that horrible and cheesy 1998 Godzilla movie starring Matthew Broderick and a very young and handsome Doug Savant. I had completely forgotten he was in the movie at all and it struck me that Doug doesn’t look all that different today. Gay Matt (holla to the Melrose fans) has aged very well so this week’s Desperate Housewives review is dedicated to Tom Scavo!
While Tom has been aging gracefully and procreating, his poor wife Lynette (Felicity Huffman) is having a hard time raising their five children and maintaining her sanity. She’s not getting any sleep and is cranky, so Penny decides to chip in. Personally I’m not sure what the problem was because Lynette is always cranky. Remember when she got hooked on speed back in season one? Good times! But Penny isn’t amused by cranky Lynette so she takes the baby monitor to bed with her so her mom can get a full nights sleep for a change. Lynette is thrilled to have the help, but she starts to lean on Penny a bit too much and Penny winds up getting stuck taking the baby to school. Lynette realizes her mistakes and has a very touching conversation with Penny about being a kid. Then she tells Tom to hire her a nanny. Seems like we’ve been down this road before haven’t we. Didn’t Lynette hire a nanny back in season two or three and then fire her because Tom was bewitched by her large breasts? Maybe this time the nanny will be a Mrs. Doubtfire/Nanny Mcphee/Evil Mary Poppins type. That would be fun!
Meanwhile Susan is running around in her underwear AGAIN. I am honestly starting to feel sorry for Teri Hatcher. Her storyline has sucked this year. She has spent almost all of her screen time with a feather duster stuck in her cleavage while the other girls get all the good scenes. This week she has been chosen as the spokesmodel for vavavavroom.com and she is plastered up on billboards (in her underwear) all over Fairfiew. Susan is horrified of course and begs her boss to yank the ads down. The change will cost Susan all of the money she has earned so far, but she can earn it back faster if she agrees to do private webcam sessions of an erotic nature with her online fans. Susan agrees and takes her storyline further into the realm of the ridiculous. Porn? Really?
Bree (Marcia Cross) and Renee (Vanessa Williams) are still bickering back and forth over who should get the right to bag studly handyman Keith (Brian Austin Green). Jealous that Bree took Keith out on a date, Renee ruins it by showing up with Bree’s grandson to remind Keith that she’s old. Bree picks Lynette’s brain about ways she can get back at Renee and finds out about her fear of little people. WHen Renee and Keith go on their date later that week Bree sends her “little” friend from church over to speak to them. Renee completely freaks out and delivers the best line of the episode.
“I can’t look at his little hands!”
I lolled. Renee confronts Bree and admits defeat. She lets Bree have Keith and seems content that maybe she has made a friend in the process. Aw. Maybe Bree will repay her by teaching her to cook and macrame.
At the Solis’, Gabby (Eva Longoria) has finally met her biological daughter and has made an arrangement with the family to let the kids play together so they can get to know each other. The other family is poor though, and does not appreciate Gabby trying to win their daughter’s heart with expensive gifts. Carlos agrees, but Gabby doesn’t listen (shock) and gives the girl an expensive necklace. Nothing good will come from this. Mark my words. Remember what I said about Carlos leaving Gabby at the end this season? Place your bets now.
We didn’t see much of Creepy Paul this week. He did ask Mrs. McKlesky if he could buy her house from her “before she gets old and has a stroke” but she loudly turns him down. She mentions this to his wife Beth who is becoming more and more suspicious of Paul’s motives. He has already bought his old house across the street and now he wants Mrs McKlesky’s? What on earth will we do if he buys everyone’s house? Then the show will be called Desperate Paul and it will be boring and creepy and I won’t watch.
The episode ended with someone pulled Susan’s billboard out of the trash and taking it home with them. At first I thought it might be Creepy Paul because that is a pretty creepy thing to do, but the preview for next week indicates that Susan might have a stalker. YAWN. Poor Teri Hatcher. Someone needs to have a talk with Mark Cherry, and soon!