So everything was so damn peaceful last time we checked in with our favorite Upper East Siders, we had to know war was just around the corner. What, you’re telling me that Lily (Kelly Rutherford) being exposed as a double-agent, with Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Serena (Blake Lively) conspiring to make her mother look awful isn’t exactly peaceful? Sorry, if an episode ends with Dan (Penn Badgley) and Blair (Leighton Meester) giggling over doing dishes and exchanging cute banter, I have to think that all of the Upper East Side is at peace with the world. If those two get on well, how can others not?
Right, except we have a newcomer, and he ain’t of the “I wuv you Chuck Bass” kind. So, we finally get to meet the widely announced Russel Thorpe character (played by Michael Boatman. And man, is this guy smooth.) So Thorpe arrives to mess with Chuck and his favorite toy, Bass Industries.
Russel: “Let go of the toy, I’m the adult here, and I say it’s time for me to play, you’ve had it long enough!!”
Chuck: “You may be the adult but I’m the dandy, and nobody makes that deep rusty voice like I do. Toy’s mine, and I’m keeping it! And while we’re at it… hot daughter there, think she will succumb to my charms?”
Now, about this daughter. Raina (Tika Sumpter) won’t exactly be indifferent to Chuck’s dandy charms. Not that we expected any less, let it be clear. But, it seems like she will give a whole new meaning to “being all up in Chuck’s business”. We don’t blame you, Raina. Just be warned: nothing stops the Bass when his business is involved. And playing with fire may end up being seriously dangerous. You have been warned.
So Chuck and Serena decide that it’s time to take Lily down. Biological and adoptive parents really have an awful score on this show. And their children kick their asses a lot more often than the other way round. Fine, someone in the writing room had a rough childhood? Repressed anger against parents? Seriously! Anyway, Serena poses as Lily (or at least that’s what it looks like from the promo), ready to trick Russel into a fake deal, I presume. Supposing this guy can’t be that stupid, I just feel this isn’t exactly going to end well for our step-siblings. Not to mention they need to milk this for a few episodes. Oh, the drama. Can’t wait. And Jack Bass (Desmond Harrington) coming back into the mix would make this bloody perfect. Yes I know he’s coming back, I’m ready with the devilish grin on my face to see him work his evil charm.
And now, for the hotness segment of this post. Nate (Chace Crawford, how do I love thee?) is worried that his dad, the Captain (guest star Sam Robards) is having too much fun and not taking his parole seriously. Considering the Captain is living with Nate and Chuck at the Empire…Translation: Daddy found Chuck’s little black book and decided to call a few of those numbers? It’s all good until it’s bros before hos, dad. When that’s not the case anymore, well I worry and I have that little wrinkle on my forehead that makes my pretty face look so angsty. And I only get that face when Serena runs away and wakes up forgetting I made her have doubts over who to pick and only remembering Dan! (Serena: please wise up. Also? Dan will soon be busy with your bestie. No wait, he already is.)
Elsewhere, Blair is busy trying to become a successful woman, and realizes her mother Eleanor (guest star Margaret Colin) could be the key to her becoming a CEO. You go, girl. About damn time you focused on business. What, you’re doing that with Dan? Right, I forgot. A guy always has to be involved in the plan, especially if he’s the ex of your best friend, right? ’cause who wouldn’t think it’s a solidly enlightened idea to pursue your best friend’s ex? And, top it with a new hot shot job with him at a fashion magazine! There’s so much trouble written all over this that I can smell the Upper East Side drama already. The good news is that Leighton Meester and Penn Badgley really have great chemistry, so at the very least we’re in for some seriously good one-liners! I am on the fence Queen B. Do not disappoint me. Dan will for sure, that’s a given, but you? You cannot. I expect awesomeness.
All the others? MIA except for Matthew Settle, who also stars in the episode. Which is really good because that means Rufus/Lily scenes, and I’m always up for those, I love how Rutherford and Settle play off each other. Never mind that last time we saw them he was ready to basically cut her head off like Henry VIII with Anne Boleyn. Unlike the Tudor King, (oh how I wish I could sneak a HENRY CAVILL mention in here. So there.) Rufus is much more forgiving and patient. So no heads rolling. Just a little ass-kicking and make-up smooching maybe?
Curious to see the actual thing? Don’t forget to tune in for a new episode of Gossip Girl on Monday, Jan. 24 at 9 p.m. on the CW Television Network!
Photo Credit: Giovanni Rufino / The CW