The web of deceit and murder that our favorite Desperate Housewives have been weaving since Carlos killed Gabby’s pedophilic stepfather in the living room with the candlestick is starting to show the tiniest bits of unraveling. In “School of Hard Knocks” the seeds were planted for their big secret to be revealed and now it is just a matter of time.
Last week’s dismal episode made my brain hurt but I am willing to admit that perhaps I was being too critical. While I felt the Susan/Carlos moonlight walk of seduction was endlessly silly it did show that the two of them are having a hard time dealing with the emotional fallout of their post-dinner party tomfoolery. Thankfully we moved on from that and now Susan (Teri Hatcher) is channeling her rage in a more creative and less-adulterous manner. Instead of moonlit walks with the sexy Latino (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) she has chosen painting lessons from one of her artistic idols, Andre Zeller (Miguel Ferrer). But Zeller is no pushover and is not terribly impressed with Susan’s toddler-centric doodling. He challenges her to go to her dark place and after a false start involving a nauseatingly melodramatic painting of a lonely tree Susan finally taps into the darkness inside her.
Zeller: “That tree is lonely like I am now that Oprah is off the air”
Bree (Marcia Cross) tapped into the dark side of her now ex-boyfriend Chuck Vance (Jonathan Cake) last week when she dumped him in an attempt to prevent him from getting too close to their murder party. Turns out she would have been better off distracting him with sex and cookies instead because now he is hell-bent on revenge for being “led on” and “made a fool of”. Bree barely has time to think about it though because her daughter Danielle (Joy Lauren) has moved home with her son in the wake of a divorce, one which Bree saw coming and wastes no time in reminding Danielle of her omniscience. To add to the drama Danielle is starting an internet business selling “exercise equipment” which is code for “sex swings” and when Bree finds out she loses her Pentacostal mind! We saw a bit of the old judgmental, holier than thou Bree this week and while she is guilty of making the same mistakes over and over in regards to her kids I was reminded that she has indeed grown a lot since Rex’s death. I have a sneaking suspicion that Bree will pay dearly for her role in the murder party now that a certain missing person’s file has landed on Chuck’s desk.
Someone who isn’t growing that much though is Lynette (Felicity Huffman) and I have lamented this fact until I cannot lament any longer. Lynette is deeply flawed and like she said last week she “mounts a relationship and beats it into submission” which means I am actually rooting for Tom (Doug Savant) in this. Maybe his flirtations with the gorgeous doctor at the health club will force Lynette to make some changes and win him back, but she has a ways to go. The fact that she used her daughter to spy on Tom just showed she is not ready. I did enjoy her scene with Renee (Vanessa Williams) at the booty Burn Ballet class. Funny stuff.
Gabby (Eva Longoria) had it easy this week. Her storyline was limited to a run in with the president of the PTA (Beth Littleford) who takes great pleasure in dealing out punishments for disobeying the drop off rules at The Oak Ridge School which makes Gabby late for her various body beautifying appointments. Gabby first tries to overthrow her reign via the PTA meeting but is thwarted. She then results to ignoring the exile she was placed in and winds up running Dana over with her Mercedes. First of all didn’t Gabby used to drive a Jaguar? Anyway, Dana is relieved of duty and appoints Gabby PTA president as punishment. This development should provide many episodes of endless lulz.
So where are we? Well, Mike and Susan are lovey dovey again and Mike (James Denton) seems almost relieved that he and Susan share a sorted past now. They bonded more deeply over crime. Bree has made significant progress in her relationship with Danielle but remains unaware that the Wrath of Chuck about to descend upon her. I think that comment she made to Danielle about “certain recent events” that made her realize she isn’t perfect may come back to haunt her. Danielle may love her mother but she is not above turning her in for murder.
Next week Susan gets naked again (groan) and Gabby has some trouble with a school event. Tune in to ABC Sunday at 9pm to check it out.
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