This week’s episode of Glee was called “Choke” and sadly it was not based on the Chuck Palahniuk novel of the same name. I had a sneaky suspicion that it referred to the much anticipated Nyada auditions for Kurt and Rachel and which one of them was going to screw it up. The writers did a bang up job trying to convince us it was going to be Kurt but anyone with half a brain knew that Rachel (Lea Michele) was going down. Why? Because they’ve spent three seasons cramming her talent down our throats and while she has stumbled before she was due for a big fall, especially after that voiceover about how she is a gas giant ready to become a star. And there is no bigger fall than flubbing the words to the song she has been singing since she pirouetted out of Shelby’s uterus. We know she can wipe the floor with “Don’t Rain on My Parade“. But failure makes for good drama right! This setback is just a freckle on the nose of life’s complexion. Don’t fret over the fate of our golden throated diva. This is television for teens after all. Things are gonna work out.
Life is going much better for Kurt (Chris Colfer). After wisely ditching his original plan of doing “Music of the Night” with a dead-eyed Tina Chang as Christine he opted for shiny gold pants and copious pelvic thrusts to win over the heart of stodgy judge Carmen Tibideau (Whoopi Goldberg). His raging hormonal rendention of Peter Allen’s “Not The Boy Next Door” did the trick and it looks like he’s Nyada bound.
In the midst of all the Nyada drama there is the little problem of graduation and the fact that Puck (Mark Salling) is just now realizing he won’t be joining his bros unless he nails the European Geography exam, or more specifically the European Geography teacher who he figures is easier than the exam. His rock hard abs and irresistible charm fail to win the newly divorced and lonely woman over and he decides to drop out via a big High School Musical version of Alice Cooper’s anthem of angst “Schools Out“. A visit from his deadbeat father quickly changes his mind and he asks his bros for help. After a night with the Glee Boys he might just be ready for the exam, but not before torturing us with “The Rain in Spain” from My Fair Lady. The baby Jesus wept.
Meanwhile the girls were getting a hard lesson in respect from “Black Sue” Roz Washington (Nene Leakes). High school girls are mean. I remember. And when Roz catches the Glee girls making fun of Coach Bieste’s (Dot Marie Jones) black eye they end up on her “list” and forced to do a song representing female empowerment. Naturally they get it wrong and do a song about crazy women in their panties killing men over gum. The song, “Cell Block Tango” was not one of my faves. Chicago is a great show but I just didn’t enjoy the track. Later when they find out Coach Bieste is being battered by her new husband Cooter they redeem themselves with Florence + The Machine’s “Shake it Out“.
Rachel rounded out the hour with a tearful and loud version of “Cry” by Kelly Clarkson while we were shown the various ways in which people choked this week. Coach Bieste choked on her decision to leave Cooter and lied to Sue and Roz about it. Puck choked on his exam even though he thought he did okay on it. And Blaine choked on hair gel. The only one who didn’t choke was Kurt. I vote for season four being The Kurt Hummel Variety Hour featuring Blaine Anderson and the Warblers.
Glee has been very uneven and frustrating for me since the winter break, hence the lack of reviews lately. Last week’s “Whitney” tribute was pretty amazing and while “Choke” had some good moments, some great acting and a couple of good songs overall it was just okay. The domestic violence issue was handled gracefully I thought and I liked that not everyone gets a happy ending. Glee make try to convince us that breaking out in song is normal but it’s nice to see that they don’t always intend on sugar coating everything. Graduation is looming fast though and there is a lot to resolve before they put on those caps and gowns. Next up is prom which has been given a dinosaur theme by class president Brittany. That should be interesting.
What did you guys think of “Choke”?
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