Hola Gleeks! Nothing makes me happier than entitled American people butchering other languages resulting in hilarious nonsensical translations and this week’s Glee was mui completo of it. When a tenure position opens up at McKinley the race is on to secure the coveted position. Sadly Mr. Schue is on the bottom of the pile due to his complete and utter lack of a grasp on the spanish language which happens to be the subject he teaches. Oh had you forgotten that too? I thought I was the only one. Seems to me that he spends 100% of his time in the choir room but I could be wrong. Anyway, he signs up for a night class to learn some Spanish and ends up meeting his Latin Fairy Godfather…David Martinez (Ricky Martin).
Before the cast names have stopped flashing on the screen Schue (Matthew Morrison) has invited David and his bon bon to sing for the Glee club and teach them what it means to sing with duende and spins a horrifying tale of a future where we all speak Spanish. Horror! Mr. Martinez puts the kids at ease immediately with his tight blue jeans and his white teeth and his rapidly oscilating tush as he reminds those of us who forgot he existed just how sexy he is. Do you really want it? Oh yes.
Meanwhile outside the choir room plot is happening and this week it involves Sue (Jane Lynch) and her dusty vagina. Seems she wants to fill it with a baby and she wants a few ounces of Mr. Schue’s baby gravy so the kid will have good hair. Sue seems to have calmed down a bit this year and I like it. That doesn’t mean that we don’t get the snappy one liners anymore. They just come mostly from the coach of the McKinley Guppies, Roz Washington (NeNe Leakes). Color me sorprendido but I actually dig NeNe as the sassy Roz. She may be the most annoying Real Housewife on television but get her away from Kim and Sheree and give her a script and she’s actually quite funny. And let’s not forget that when she enters a room she OWNS IT. Her delivery is a little stiff from time to time but she got all the good lines this week. Roz is making a move on Sue’s job and she’s relentless.
It wouldn’t be Glee without a hot mess of unresolved relationship drama and this week it was mostly about Mercedes (Amber Riley) trying to figure out if she really likes hot blond muscular trouty mouth Sam (Chord Overstreet) or that tank of a man she wanders the hall with. Emma (Jayma Mays) suggests they not speak for a week to determine their true feelings. I wonder if they’ll find another way to communicate? A way that involves music?
In other unresolved relationship drama news the word is out about Rachel (Lea Michele) and Finn’s (Cory Monteith) engagement and no one is happy about it. It’s Kurt (Chris Colfer) that throws the biggest monkey wrench in the works with his locker room pep talk so it’s anyone’s guess how that will play out. Will and Emma have a minor tiff after Will is a supreme douchebag to her, but in the end the make up nice and make kissy faces.
So how was the music? I’m glad you asked. Ricky Martin dominated this episode with two performances, “I’m Sexy and I Know It” and “La Isla Bonita” with Santana and both will find their way to my iPod soon. “Bonita” is probably my least favorite Madonna track but they killed it. I think it was Ricky’s oscillating tush that put it over the edge. Mercedes made her feelings for Trouty Mouth known with a Spanish version of Gloria Estefan’s “Don’t Wanna Lose You Now” and Sam returned the favor with “Bamboleo / Hero“. It was Mr. Schue’s horrific rendition of “A Little Less Conversation” while dressed as a matador that really made the hour special. Kudos to Santana for calling him out on his embarrassing stereotypes.
Despite the treasure trove of one-liners from NeNe Leakes this week my favorite quote goes to Coach Bieste who delivered managed to cleverly work in a reference to “her little Cooter” while discussing Emma’s “Taint Misbehavin” educational pamphlet about how to properly clean one’s genitals. Well played Bieste. Well played. Next week it is Valentines Day and I’m betting there will be some tears.
What say you Gleeks? Should Ricky Martin shake his bon bon across the choir room again this season or is he terminado?