This week on House Hunters: Texas that big white ranch called Southfork finally got a new owner, and it wasn’t who anyone was expecting. And now poor Ann had to unpack everything she packed up last week because Bobby isn’t going anywhere and he’s pissed! Dallas continues to surprise me while at the same time feeling enough like the old show to make me feel all tingly inside. They’ve covered in five episodes more drama and lies and scandal and barbecues than it would have taken a full season to cover in the 80s. Dallas 2012 moves fast so pay attention, and if you enjoy drinking games then I suggest taking a shot every time someone utters the phrase “birth right”.
This week picked up right where we left off with a teary eyed Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo) spilling her guts to Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) about all the mischief she has been up to with her “brother” Tommy. I am still not convinced those two are actually siblings, but I could just be paranoid. She tells Christopher that Tommy sent the email that broke he and Elena (Jordana Brewster) up which doesn’t sit too well with him. He then stomps off and adds some excitement to the world’s most boring barbecue by punching Tommy in the face and speeding off in his sensible yet sexy Tesla. Bobby (Patrick Duffy) wastes no time in throwing the conniving duo off the ranch, but this won’t be the end of Rebecca. I smell a bun in the oven. Christopher wastes no time in kicking her out of his life and before too long he has hit the bottle and is banging on Elena’s door. I would have never guessed that Christopher would end up being the drunk in this family. He’s more Ewing than he realizes. At least he had enough sense not to show Elena the sex tape of Marta and John Ross.
The big news this week was JR’s takeover of Southfork Ranch. JR (Larry Hagman) played that perfectly and made things even more complicated by putting John Ross (Josh Henderson) in charge and then skipping town in typical JR fashion via a helicopter at Cowboy’s stadium after having his face blasted on the jumbotron. Go Cowboys! Get that homerun, or goal or whatever! Can you tell I don’t follow sports? Shocking I know. It is worth mentioning that when I was a small child I fancied myself a Cowboys fan because they had glamorous cheerleaders and it angered my Atlanta Falcon’s fan mother just a little bit. Dallas is in my BLOOD people!
So now John Ross is in charge and he doesn’t look like he has a clue what to do. JR did say he was going to throw him in the deep end just like Jock did to him and see if he can swim. But Christopher has enough info on him to send him to jail if he doesn’t come clean about the fraudulent sale of the ranch. Imagine how pissed JR would be if he came home from his little vacation to find that all his hard work has been undone by his son. At least he has Elena for comfort.
Another interesting development this week was the tense meeting between Bobby’s wife Ann (Brenda Strong) and her creepy ex-husband played by Mitch Pileggi! Welcome aboard Agent Skinner! Something nasty went down between those two and I have no doubt we will find out exactly what before too long. Also Ann looked SMOKIN in those tight jeans and high heels. She did get him to agree to pull his oil trucks off Southfork in order to delay the drilling until Bobby can figure out how to fix things.
Another week and the stakes continue to get higher and higher, and the good news is that Dallas has been picked up for a second season! What did you guys think?