Clearly Jada Pinkett-Smith has never watched an episode of Alias. She doesn’t know what messing with Vaughn brings about. Yes, Michael Vaughn, the awesome CIA agent played on Alias by my longtime TV husband Michael Vartan, one of the classiest and nicest actors in the business, and often one of the most underrated, too. For the record, he’s also ridiculously charming. And gorgeous. Fangirling shall now terminate. Ahem. So, Vartan’s character on TNT’s drama HawthoRNe was put in a ridiculous triangle storyline that included Latin singer (and former Jennifer Lopez husband) Marc Anthony, too.

The wreck of a story (can’t be defined in any other way) didn’t exactly sit well with viewers. Result? TNT announced today that HawthoRNe has been cancelled. “We wish all people involved and Jada in particular the best, yada, yada.” Well Jada, consider yourself lucky you didn’t get your ass kicked by Sydney Bristow (possibly the most hardcore woman spy ever on TV, played by Jennifer Garner on Alias. And Vaughn’s girlfriend on the show. She didn’t take messing with her man too well).

A lot of viewers were outraged by the storyline the show decided to go with this season. Now let me just say it out loud. While Marc Anthony certainly has his charm in terms of singing Latino, and can for sure act, there’s no way any sane woman would cheat on Michael Vartan, two weeks into their marriage, with him! Come on now! I get it that this is TV and suspension of disbelief is part of it, but there’s a limit to how much things can be stretched, even for TNT that makes “we know drama” its trademark.

A lot of viewers didn’t buy into the story at all, mainly because of how Marc Anthony’s character was written. Detective Nick Renata wasn’t popular among a good amount of fans, while Vartan’s character, Dr Tom Wakefield, garnered even more support from fans this season. A big portion of the fans was very vocal about their disappointment at both how Pinkett Smith’s character behaved (nurse Christina Hawthorne had thus far shown a decent moral compass, and that all went into the sinkerator together with the leftovers of my lunch this season) and how Vartan’s character was wronged in the situation. Yet Pinkett-Smith, who took over creative control of the show this season, didn’t listen. The show lost about 25% of its average viewership.

Just so it’s clear, I don’t think fans are in any position to dictate or request ANY story whatsoever on any show. I’m a strong advocate for “the show belongs to creators and writers first and foremost, and actors then”. The moment a producer or writer starts catering to the online audience (which is anyway a tiny, minor portion of the entire viewership), a show is toast. It becomes fanfic instead of TV show. And I don’t condone “shipper” war behavior, ever. [For those of you less familiar with it, "shippers" are those fans who are mainly focused on the story and outcome of a couple on a show, and only see the story and the evolution of the show based on said couple]. But, and this is a big but, when the hard numbers tell you that 25% of your viewers have gone buh-bye and you’re on cable, well it’s definitely time to consider a change in the direction you clearly think is the best thing after Richard Winsor dancing Billy Elliot. (Don’t believe me? Google him. And don’t say I didn’t warn you about how fabulous he is.)

Placing blame is always a sterile exercise, but in this case more than in any other I’ve seen regarding show cancellations, it is clear that those who held creative control of matters are to blame for what happened. So that means Jada Pinkett-Smith first and foremost. I get it Jada, you have friends and you want to bring them on to the show, because you can, and because they’re big names, people who are supposed to draw in more viewers. So fine, bring Marc Anthony on board. That does NOT equal “screw two entire seasons of the show that were built around Christina and Tom and their feelings for each other, and have Christina cheat on freshly-married Tom with Nick Renata.” Ever heard about grey zones? Those things can be pretty fundamental when writing a show. The grey areas are those that allow for writers to bring in a variety of subjects and slowly, I repeat, slowly, develop them to then become either black or white. What happened on HawthoRNe was that we went from full on white to total black without anything in between. And that never works on TV, unless you do it in one episode and then spend the 20 following ones explaining how we got from white to black. So, bye-bye HawthoRNe. After this disastrous last season, I’d be lying if I said I’ll miss you.

There is, however, ONE good side to this. Now you all major network executives and, most of all, you all incredibly wise and brilliant USA Network execs, please listen to me. Michael Vartan is on the market. I don’t think I need to explain how much of an asset this fabulous man is for a show that will bet on him (a decently written one, that is.) His most famous character remains Vaughn on Alias, and we know, because he told us, how much he loves shooting action and guns and how much he’d also love to challenge himself with comedy. He’s got it all: the charm, the talent, the fans. HIRE.HIM.NOW! Or you will have me on your conscience, since I won’t live without my weekly TV dose of Vartan! (So what, I can go drama queen if it’s needed).

Now seriously, I so could see Vartan fitting perfectly on USA Network’s Burn Notice (Michael Westen [Jeffrey Donovan] and Vaughn, YEAH!), or Royal Pains, or White Collar, too. (For the first time, Neal Caffrey [Matt Bomer] would have serious competition in the looks department, too.) We know how great he is at playing the CIA agent, we know he can play those charming characters that people will get to love in no time. Get on it please, yesterday! Oh and, in case (I doubt it, but hey, worth a shot) anyone from CBS sees this… blame Bob Orci for putting this idea in my mind, but Vartan would be a FABULOUS recurring guest star on Hawaii Five-0. Vaughn and McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin) together? Do you have ANY idea how many women will tune in to watch that? (On top of your regular audience). Nothing else to add here. HawthoRNe is gone, Vartan is here to stay. Shirtless, possibly.

And with this, we say goodbye to HawthoRNe and its woes. (No, I’m not gonna delve into the whole Jada Pinkett-Smith and Marc Anthony matter. That’s best covered with strong liquor available, and right now I need to be sober.)

Bye lovelies, see ya next time!

I will pretend I can still be my professional self while I write this, but the fangirl will have to take over soon and often. There are times when a girl has no choice but to embrace her fan girl self, and this is one of those. Because that day has finally arrived. The day when I actually get to talk to my everlasting, undying and uber perfect TV husband, Michael Vartan. Yeah, yeah, get in line, I TV married him first. I said TV married, not actually married. You seriously think if I was his wife that I’d be typing instead of messing up that super sexy constant bed hair he has? Yeah, didn’t think so. Pretty sure his adorable wife knows better than that, too.

But onto business (yeah not something I can exactly focus on right now after the “I’m all business” rush has worn out, but I gotta give it a whirl as John Michael Montgomery sings in “Life’s A Dance”). So, apparently I was not daydreaming, but actually talking to the adorably kind, funny and nice (not to mention super gorgeous and sexy) Michael Vartan earlier today, and we had a chance to chat HawthoRNe of course and how Dr. Tom on HawthoRNe has dived into the Alias of it all this season. As if I’d ever talk to Mr Vartan and not mention Alias. Not a chance in hell, considering it is possibly my biggest TV show love. He also gave us a little tidbit on his upcoming movie “Colombiana” and about fun times on the set of HawthoRNe. Because he’s THAT good.

Alessandra: “Hi, it is a great pleasure to talk to you, at last! Better late than never!
Michael Vartan: “Nice talking to you!”

(Did he just say “nice talking to you”? To me? Bring the mojitos, please, I may not make it.) Excuse me while I take a few seconds to realize I’m actually typing a conversation between wittle old me (actually not old, just sayin’) and Michael Vartan. [Janice from Friends mode on] OH.MY.GOD! [Janice mode off].

For the record, he’s this nice with everyone… but since he said it to me, well I am now batting my eyelashes and being all giggly and girly about it. Thankfully I was cool, professional Alessandra when it happened. (So what, I’ve learnt the double personality thing well from Alias.). And here are the goodies, right from Monsieur Vartan himself.

Alessandra: “If I am allowed an Alias comparison, it seems like Tom is putting his Vaughn on this season!”

(He laughs.) Comments on his laugh at the end of the piece, I gotta keep it slightly professional at least while I’m telling you all what he said.

Alessandra: “That scene between Tom and Nick, when Tom pointed the gun at him while sneaking into his car? That really looked like Vaughn, I expected Sydney and Spy Daddy to show up to get you in their car and flee!”

Michael Vartan: “That’s funny!” (he laughs again.)

Alessandra: “Seriously, you often said you missed filming with a gun and it finally happened on HawthoRNe too! Was that your idea or just a friendly request from you, or was it entirely the writers’ idea?”

Michael Vartan: “It was entirely their idea. I did joke around about that a few times and said I missed filming with a gun, but that was it. I was very excited when I read it and it’s very unlike the character to do something like that, just even buying the gun was totally unlike him… so I was really excited to see him go darker and explore a very different and very unexpected side to the character. If I had been told in season 1 that he would buy a gun and point it at people I would have laughed. But you never know what they can come up with and this season that’s what’s happening, and I am really happy about it.”

Alessandra: “Really, Dr Tom from now on should follow a mantra: WWVD, What Would Vaughn Do [side note: yes, the original is “What Would RIGGINS Do” from Friday Night Lights, but hey I'm a huge fan, so I recycled], that would help him solve things more efficiently, don’t you think? Or, would it get Tom in even more trouble than he is already in?”

Michael Vartan: “I think in this case that things will turn out differently. It’s very easy as an actor to carry a gun and go “I wanna be Clint Eastwood or John Wayne”, but in this situation, it’s very unlike the character to have it, it really isn’t his thing, so I think ultimately reason will prevail. He’ll have to find a way to make it all work and get back to a more stable situation. I think there will be some sort of balance and he will manage to find a solution for reason to prevail.”

Damn. I was really hoping to see some Vaughn go on here à la Phase One (Alias fans, two huzzahs for one of the best-ever episodes we had!). Dr. Tom has been way too nice to most so far, Christina included. Some serious Alias-style ass-kicking was in order! Especially some ass-kicking involving a certain latino star who plays a certain character, and our one and only hero. Bummer.

Alessandra: “Despite the fact Christina is the main character, fans of the show seem for the vast majority to have sided with Tom now, with the whole cheating issue on Christina’s part… did you expect that to happen? It’s quite remarkable that your character has managed to gain the affection of fans this much, and that clearly is something you managed to have because you injected life and emotion in the character.”

Michael Vartan: “Thank you! I kind of did (expect it) a little bit, every time a character does something that is socially seen as the wrong thing, people react. That’s one of the things about the show, one of the smart things that Jada did. Everyone wants to root for the hero but that’s kind of boring, and I think people are attracted to the mess of life and the dark side, so sure what Christina did was not right, but people are drawn to the dark side of her character. If you enjoy cookie cutter and Desperate Housewives then Christina’s probably lost you as a viewer but if you enjoy something darker and a bit more structured then this is the kind of thing you want to be watching. If all goes well it gets boring, you want to see drama and things getting dark and twisted and then things picking up again.”

“I really don’t think he’s given up on Christina. He’s served her papers because she cheated on him three weeks into their marriage, so there’s that, but he’s fighting. He’s tried very hard to make his feelings known, that he’s not comfortable with the relationship she has with Nick. That kissing scene at Mama Renata’s party, I was taken aback. No wonder!”

“I was very very glad to see Tom get a little bit more of an edge this season. It’s unexpected to see him going darker, but the transformation came from an extremely difficult set of circumstances, so it made sense.”

“I love the direction my character is taking. I wouldn’t say Tom has become a bad boy, but he’s gone darker and it’s a lot more fun, more layers. No one is interested in seeing people just happy the whole time, you wanna see drama and chaos so it’s fun, and as an actor I certainly prefer that.”

Speaking of, I want to bring to your attention something else he said while talking about his acting “method”, or rather “NON method”, because I feel strongly about this subject and guess what? He feels the same exact way as I do! (swoon, my TV husband and I also agree on serious stuff. Ahem.) My short version is, if you’re talented, there’s no need for “method”. Monsieur Vartan’s much more articulate (and competent, since HE is the actor, not me) remarks were these:

“People say “do you take your work home with you?” I don’t take my work to WORK with me. Acting for me is just that, I don’t really have a method at all. I just try and “imagine what it would be like to…” and I try to be as honest with that notion as I can. There are things that are a lot darker, but for the most part even in dark moments you can still have fun. I’m really not a method actor at all.”

“In terms of character preparation, if you’re lucky enough to be in season 3 of a show, if you don’t have a decent handle on your character by now then you’re in trouble…” (he laughs).

“Most important thing for me, since I’m NOT a method actor, I wouldn’t know how to do that, and I frankly don’t like it, I don’t wanna remember my dead father to do dark scenes, I just prepare step by step. You just need to know where the character is coming from and go along with it. You would not believe the number of actors I have worked with throughout the years that just get by by SHEER talent, and I’m talking MEGA stars. They could be reading the phone book and be interesting. Just know where you come from and where you’re going.”

Hear that, young actors? Listen and learn.

Alessandra: “Maybe unexpectedly the darker side has had fans side more with your character rather than with Christina. This new turn for your character has allowed you to show a different side of him and make him more “active” so to speak, not that he was passive before, but he was more easy-going? He reacted less while now he’s much more of an action kind of guy?”

Michael Vartan: “Oh you CAN say passive. Christina is so full throttle all the time that she needs someone around her who is less like that and more of the passive type, and this year for sure Tom is less passive and more active. Like you said, it’s HER show and the show revolves around her but in season 3 the writers had a little more liberty to stretch and be more colorful with other characters, too, so that’s how we got to showing different sides for them. There are things that you completely forget about characters that sometimes come up again.

For example, one day Adam (Rayner, who plays Dr. Steve Shaw on HawthoRNe) and I were hanging out on set. We were filming, the Bobbie and Steve and Tom characters, we were doing a scene together and we just busted out laughing because we remembered that the character (Bobbie) only has ONE leg and we had totally forgotten about that. Maybe next season she will grow a new leg.” (He laughs).

“You never really know what’s gonna be happening and I guess that’s the fun of showbiz.”

Alessandra: “I know this is a little off-topic but I have to ask. You have a movie coming up, Colombiana. (Opening Aug. 26 in U.S. Theaters! It’s a Luc Besson project, starring Zoe Saldana and our one and only Monsieur Vartan amongst others). I swear I haven’t seen ONE single comment from you on it, so could you tell us a bit about it and your character?”

Michael Vartan: “It’s a movie about a woman whose parents are murdered when she was a little girl and she becomes a hitman. And I play her love interest who has a hard time breaking her hard exteriors. I’ve seen the movie and I think it’s great, Zoe Saldana who is the lead is magnificent and the movie is very very entertaining. Lots of violence and action, a LOT of guns. A LOT!” (he laughs)

Alessandra: “Back to Alias times!” Le sigh. I miss it.

And I laugh. And I swoon. And so it ends. So as a side note, I don’t think I love an actor’s laugh more than I do Vartan’s. And it’s been like that ever since Alias (you’ve never seen the Alias bloopers? Get on it, because no other show has bloopers as funny as the Alias ones. I kid you not. And there’s plenty of them!). He’s got that sincere, contagious laugh. Which is why he should do more comedy, too. Hear me, producers? He would love to do it (he said so himself) so listen to the hilariously talented Joshua Malina who hired him for his comedy “Backwash” and said that “Michael Vartan was even funnier than Jon Hamm!” and give him a comedic role to sink his teeth into!

Then possibly also give him a recurring guest-starring role as Vaughn from Alias on CBS’s “Hawaii Five-0” so that my dream of a shirtless Vaughn/McGarrett sandwich can come true. (hey there was a good amount of Alias writers in the H50 room in S1). I blame the awesome Bob Orci for this. Yes I’m looking at you Mr Orci. YOU suggested it to me on Twitter. Haven’t been able to rebound since.

Monsieur Vartan deserves to be on my TV screen a lot more than he currently is. Someone do something about it and quick. It is a shameful occurrence that he isn’t employed much more often and in big TV shows. He’s got the talent, the looks and the fans. Time to act upon it, or I’ll get my Sydney Bristow on, and it will be trouble for everyone! Meantime, to get your weekly Vartan fix, don’t forget to watch HawthoRNe on TNT Tuesday nights at 10/9 c! The season finale will air on August 16 at 10 p.m.!

Check out the trailer below for Colombiana, and don’t miss the steamy sex scene!